mini thoughts

2 Baby Sitters

Lemuel attended a babysitting class last Saturday in Pasadena, the same training Abraham attended four years ago. Both brothers are now Red Cross-trained sitters, sitting themselves. Both can offer their services to outside parties as well…nice.

Switching bags – not a good idea

I enjoy seeing ladies who matches their bags with their clothes or accessories. I know someone who does, as frequent as every other day. I tried once to switch bags, I forgot my building pass. I tried the second time – I forgot my parking pass. I don’t want to try the third time.

Super awake

It’s hard to get up in the mornings especially when it rains. I tend to be so slow and sleepy even at breakfast table.

Abraham suggested I take my coffee from this huge bowl – so I’ll be super awake. The teen makes sense.

Pay per view

Living in the City has its pros and cons. One biggest disadvantage is the high cost of rent. But then, you get to see this everyday…

From my bedroom window, the Hollywood sign (center) and the Griffith observatory (right).

From the children's bedroom window, the heights of Downtown Los Angeles, sorry no picture, pay per view :-)

Living in the center of the city meant my everyday route include...


The Walt Disney Concert Hall at Grand Street.

Living in the city meant being close to work.










hmmm...

'till next entry!

Magellan is a blessing

I’m not referring to Ferdinand Magellan, the first circumnavigator who discovered the Philippines in 1521, but rather, I am writing about a by-product of his career – four hundred eighty-seven years later…

This is what I’m talking about…my first ever GPS. Magellan – proudly Philippine made. This product was made in the same export zone I worked for more than a decade when I was still in the country. The same export processing zone Brack and I met...see the connection? whatever...

I know that I am a big late to own one, I mean for someone who’s crazy about tech gadgets, but I’m also an advocate of practicality. If a product won’t have a use for me, I won’t buy it; it doesn’t matter if it’s the cutest, inexpensive or latest tech gadget out there.

When the portable version of the GPS hit the market big two years ago, I didn’t even bother to know what it can do, nor didn’t even bother to inspect the display units despite my frequent visits to Circuit City or Best Buy. I said to myself “what for?” there is map quest. My drive is a routine and roads in Los Angeles were paralleled. I guess, I don't really know my roads that well, for in 2 or 3 occasions, I would get lost and needed to call Brack in the midst of his meetings or heavy workload for driving directions to get home. On those occasions, we ended up irritated with each other, and he would end up saying I should get one of those portable GPS or do not drive at all if I don’t know where I’m going.

Submitting to Brack, (who would not? if you're asked to do something you really wanted to do anyways), I got me the most reliable driving companion. So for two months now, I’ve been driving with more confidence that I can surely find my way home, day or night. Just so happy with this one. By the ways, my boss got one of this too before me, the higher end model. He influenced me with this brand actually. Get one, you’ll gonna love it, the features were awesome. I hope Magellan will reward me for this blog with a unit upgrade later :-)

In the end, the two Magellans, first the person, second my driving companion, were both blessings. For the second won't exist without the first.

time...precious time

So long I have waited to catch up on my sleep; at last this holiday season gave me the sleep-all-you-can I wanted. It feels good to be in hibernation mode and finally watched the six episodes of Star Wars, that’s twelve hours seating, cuddling, or snuggling on the couch or on the bed. Awesome! Good that I’m finally awakened from the Anakin Skywalker slumber, he’s so cute, just can’t flush him out that fast.

The celebration of Christmas and New Year brought with it much food to feast on, plenty of talking and laughing with families and friends, chatting via IM or PC to PC talking cum webcam. A lot of catching up on everyone’s lives. It was a time for connecting and for some, reconnecting. As for me, the days-off work didn’t just gave me time to watch Star Wars and do all of the above but gave me some extra time to surf the www and look at pictures of classmates, batch mates, and long lost friends. And while I find pleasure seeing how everybody looked now, it also gave me a pinch of sadness to see everybody aged and realized that I aged too, and for how long my night cream and moisturizers will hide it, I don’t know…Hmmm…time is really something you cannot bring back, replay, or rewind. Don’t you wish you have a time remote…at your control?

For 2008 I’m skipping the New Year’s resolution, for one I observed, it is very easy to make the list but so difficult to stick to it, and based on my compliance success rate from last year’s I decided to just let the New Year be. No pressures…just a fresh mind set of positive expectations that this year will be better than the last. Is it midlife crisis telling me to take it easy and not be hard on myself? Well, I noticed I’m more toned-down, have longer patience, and more appreciative of the present. Okay…I do need that time remote :-)

Have a good year everybody and thanks for following my blogs.

Re-living

The challenge of the busy and crowded streets leading to the schools had me counting the days for the winter break to start, and today is the day that I am temporarily relieved of the morning left turn struggles to make sure Lemuel makes it to class on time, bring Abraham to his, then finally me – to work.

Its going to be a relaxing short drive to work starting the 26^th but me acting “emo” (this is how they brand emotional teenagers at middle school) is having a pinch of missing the youth atmosphere already. I am going to miss that group of long-haired pretty lass mirroring me when I was young (uggh! Indulge me) standing by the gate. I am going to miss those boys greeting with Hey Bro! or the formal handshakes of the geeks (I bet they are in Magnet class like Lemuel) when they meet in the morning. I’m going to miss the elites, those who arrive in cool rides, and clad in branded outfits from head to toe. I am going to miss the look of youth.

You may wonder, how long do I park on the street to witness all these? Twenty seconds maybe, or just enough that Lemuel and Abraham can get off the car. But as I approach the school gate and as I leave, my eyes wander around a lot, looking for similarities of the youth back in my time and now. I am re-living my own youth in my mind. Maybe I am really getting old because I delight in the long gone memories of my happy carefree days.

************

WISDOM OF THE YOUTH (a while driving scene - Brack took an alternate route to our destination…)

Me: Why did you pass this way? It’s going to take a lot of time…
Brack: It’s the same distance.
Abraham: Yes Mommy, it’s the same and you get to see beautiful houses (while cruising Windsor Square). You loved to look at beautiful houses right?
Me: I do, but nothing will happen because I am not buying.
Abraham: And why do you enjoy window shopping? It’s the same thing, you look, spend time, but don’t buy.
Me: (quiet)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS WITTY TEEN!

************

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND A GOOD AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

what's the upside?

There are times when your nerves make it hard for you to remember to be thankful for having children especially when your little dragons at home start to breathe-out fire. However, under normal circumstances, I still think being a parent is priceless. It has its payoffs that compensates for the pains and heartaches of child-rearing.

Children bring certain happiness to their parents even without trying or exerting extra effort. Parents are crazy about their kids - just seeing them having fun and enjoying life, or thinking about what will they become as they grow older. It doesn’t matter if their children resents it, parents delight in being overly involved with their children’s life, and even if they macro manage at work, they practice 100 % micromanagement when it comes to their children’s affairs.

What do children give their parents? For me the biggest upside of being a parent when the kids are at their tender age is the experience of innocent love, it is also the time you feel their total surrender. This stage brings extra happiness to control-freak parents (I’m not!), unfortunately, this doesn’t last long. There is also the experience of innocent wisdom, the time when you savor the words and opinions of your youngsters as precious treasure, like everything that comes out of their mouth clicks.

I have two boys at their puberties. I heard from other parents who have children passed this stage that this is the most challenging period for them. They talked about their difficult times, their complaints when their kids were teenagers, but didn’t mention a single moment of the joys of parenthood during the time. I guessed, a case of overlook, parents were overwhelmed with the downside, they forgot the good times.

It might be premature for me to speak about the rewards of parenthood at this stage when children are at their teens, but so far from experience, it is positively rewarding. This is the stage that I am learning from them about everything, a million things, from their perspective. Interestingly enough, some of them, I never encountered or heard of in my whole existence. Being a tech person, this is also the time that I am starting to rely on my kids, they have natural gift in running electronics without reading the manuals. This is the time they begin to express themselves and on certain occasions, challenge your viewpoints and tests your authority. It takes a stretch of patience and an open mind to deal with but once managed, adds up to the fulfilling moments of parenthood.

The joys and pains, the color and the drama, you'll find altogether in one package called CHILDREN.

(I got inspired to write this entry because of a recent scenario which I'm writing about next. Till next blog!)

electric shock

I’m highly static -- to the point that you can see a spark, or in some instances, even hear a sound, when my finger touches metal objects. I have developed static paranoia and I am not happy. I’m scared to touch metal door handles; I avoid doing so, unless I have no choice. I look like a complete fool using tissue paper, heavy duty pens, or my foot (in case of lower drawers) to open the metal filing cabinets at the office. I don’t like that it scratches my shoes. I get tired explaining to people why I need tissue paper to pull out my files. I hate that I kick the door of my car instead of grabbing it by the handle to close it. I hope my neighbors are not looking or they will see me opening the gate with my foot and kicking it sideways to close. (Sigh…)

Being static is not funny, it is painful, and it is draining my energy. Imagine how much mental agony it brings when you anticipate a shock and to calm yourself after it actually happens? How come some people are more static than others? Is there a cure? I wonder how many out there are like me. I will Google more about it.

Piece of thought (Part 2)

Fast learner
I’m a fast learner. After spending a couple of hours on my new job last Monday, I already picked it up ---I learned it’s not the job for me. The following day, I did an express exit – first person in the HR room, surrendered my badge, parking pass, and grabbed my flower vase.

Pick-up line - Scene 1

Passing by Starbucks at 7th and Fig with a co-worker, a guy approached and said, “Can you bring the sunshine back?” I can't ignore such a good looking creature so I quickly replied, “Sure, why not? I’ll wish on my wedding ring!”
(A guy sitting nearby having coffee was laughing quietly)

Men!!! His ice breaker might work ---if said fifteen years ago :-)

Pick-up line - Scene 2

I stood in line behind a man waiting to order some pies at Marie Callender’s. He glanced one, he glanced twice, he smiled…and finally spoke.

He said: I love ‘em all (referring to the pies). What about you? Which one do you like?
I said: Hmmm…I like most of them too. In fact the family couldn’t agree on one or two flavors alone so I’m getting one for my husband, one each for my 2 kids, and one for myself.
He said: Oh…

(The smile disappeared, glanced no more)

Total insecurity

Incidents like the above I tell Brack. I’m such an attention-seeker I enjoy making him jealous, but he doesn’t. In the end, I get more insecure…usually ends up asking...”Dad, do you still love me?”

Hands on the wheel, eyes on the road

I’m getting paranoid with people on their cell phones while driving. I almost got into a head-on collision with a man who took almost half my side of the lane because he got his cell on one hand, and obviously, all his attention on his cell talk, while making a left turn. I’m sure his insurance company won’t be happy if they knew.

A dose of caffeine

I was never a coffee drinker, not until late last year, which is not normal in a coffee-drinking country like the US. Now, the stainless coffee mug is a regular on my desk. I hope my dentist won’t mind :-)

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This is what happens when my brain is not fertile enough to produce a sensible entry…

‘Till I’m no longer lost in my thoughts…

Lost in transition

On Monday I’ll be starting with my new job.

This morning I received my “goodbye” paperwork from our HR Director.

Tomorrow I’ll get my final paycheck.

This hour I wanted to blog about a lot of things but the keyboard won’t type by itself.

This time is not easy…I poured a lot of me into my current job.

I need to recharge…’till next entry.

what happens in transition...

Two of my friends from way back changed jobs, rather, changed employers or moved to different industries, but does the same things they did for their entire career. Brack had the same experience last month when he left his job of six years but is now adjusted to his new environ. I hopped into the bandwagon and come Monday of next month will breakaway from the boundaries that kept me sober and firm for the last five and a half years. I am stepping-out of my comfort zone.

My lawyer-boss, whom I will still continue to work with as a contractor once I start my full time job at the other company, said I’ll be fine. A former boss who is my biggest fan when it comes to work said, I shouldn’t worry as I am good with everything. He said, I am like a Genie who gives him what he needs in a stroke of a lamp. I’d like to fill my head with their complements but I’ll be doing something I haven’t done in many years, despite it being my Bachelor’s. I’ll be learning (and need to catch up fast), two accounting application software.

Right now my subconscious is integrating my new position into the system. I’m having vivid dreams of invoices and financial statements.

piece of thought...

New York shoes

Last Tuesday I got off work 15 minutes later than usual, I rushed-out the elevator and my heels went tak tak tak tak as it touches the marble floors of Figueroa Tower’s famous Sky Lobby. I passed by a man and a woman both in power clothes, the guy turned his head towards me and said “Hmmm…New York Shoes.” I smiled and continued walking with the echo of my heels’ tak tak…I wanted to tell the guy my Kenneth Cole are not New York shoes, they are mother’s shoes (rushing home).

Power Dressing

Speaking of the man and the woman above, I admire men and women who power dress. I'd like to dress like them but my income restricts me…sad. I just dress within the confines of my salary level.

Power Eater

Speaking of power, I am a power eater. At home and at work, I eat fast. All you can eat buffet don’t count.

Tail-gaiters

I don’t like them. One afternoon as I approach the freeway entrance, a truck in front of me suddenly stopped, thanks to my courtesy, I was able to manage a smooth stop. The man behind stepped on his breaks, screeched his tires so loud, and left only a hair-thin space between my bumper and his. We were both stunned for a few seconds…then he maintained his distance.

desperate comment

I’m one of the 51, 830 people who signed the petition and I am one of the millions who think the one-paragraph apology by ABC is not enough to erase the impact of the unfounded derogatory remarks by Teri Hatcher’s character in one of Desperate Housewives’ episode. ABC claimed they are committed to present sensitive and respectful images of all communities in its programs. Obviously they don't practice their creed.

seasons change...people change

Fall kicks-off today; as the day gets shorter and the air gets cooler, a reflection crossed my mind, hence, borrowed these lines...

Que sera, sera, what ever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que sera, sera, what will be, will be

I have grown older, in fact much older, that by this time, should have some certainties as to what my (remaining) future will be and what's in store for me. But as I age and acquire more experiences in life, my attitude had changed from being focused with the future to living by the moment and leaving the rest to fate. With this mindset, I get satisfaction in the offerings of the present, enjoyed slowing-down and appreciating what is here now. It is a relief to give up worrying on what the future might bring.

Seasons change, people change, attitudes change, values change…for the better I hope.

new look

Some kind of virus forced me to give my blog a new look...some kind of agony pushed me to cut my hair short...

I'm enjoying the new look.

my sutures' gift

I had 2 C-Section deliveries and my last suture was more than a decade ago. I bear a permanent scar which is neither ugly nor lovely to look at, but since then I have learned to love.

In the past eight years or so that I am consciously observing the effects of the sutures, I confirmed I acquired the ability to predict shifts in temperature at least three days in advance through the experience of mild and bearable uteral suture pains. If it is hot today and it’s going to be colder in the coming 3 days, expect that I can sense it.

With the weather channel and the internet providing us with 10-day weather predictions, there is nothing spectacular with my acquired “ability,” but to me, this anatomical weather gauge comes really handy and useful. And although it doesn’t really register a reading, the prediction is always accurate.

In for C-Section ladies?

the impact of a goodbye

If you’re not a politician nor a movie star, just an ordinary person, the day you are lowered beneath the green grass, you will know if you have served your purpose in life and how much you’re loved depending on the number of people who showed up for your service and based on what they say about you. If the number is great and the comments are positive, then you rest in peace even happier. Sad if it is otherwise, at least you are gone anyways.

A relative passed away recently. The visitation chapel was full; the church for the final service was nearly full as well. People of different races were there, Catholics and Non-Catholics alike, united solemnly, paying their last respects. How did the departed managed to make all these people appreciate his existence so much? What was his formula for living life in successful harmony with those he came in contact with? He was a genius, smart and capable of doing a lot of things, yet exceptionally humble. He is quiet and private yet approachable and always ready to help. Never a complainer or a critic, he lived simply and honestly. People burst in tears, me included, upon hearing his favorite song played last.

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,

there will be an answer, let it be.

For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,

there will be an answer. let it be. Let it be, let it be…

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,

shine until tomorrow, let it be.

I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be.

The departed left the family with too much crying, he left me with important lessons in life to work on until my final hour. I thought to myself, if only half of the number of people there will show up in mine, if only half of the number of people who will show up truly appreciated my existence, if only half of the number of people who will show up will say I have impacted their lives in a good way, then it will be the happiest passing.

(In honor of Ike...we'll remember)

...not that I like Homer

Just want to laugh my worries away! I love Lisa though!

The Children's Bedroom

If you are a parent, have you ever tried sleeping or napping in your children’s bedroom? I did. Once or twice too many, in the afternoon for siesta, or at night when I’m exhausted. Although, I don’t really sleep there overnight, the few hours or even minutes that I spend lying on any of my children’s bed is truly restful and savvy. I don’t know what magnetic appeal the room has but my mind and body drifts away to sleep instantly upon closing my eyes, a far cry from tossing and turning, trips to the restroom, looking at the clock, flipping and tapping my pillows, and all the difficulties I experience trying to make a sleep when I’m in our matrimonial bedroom. A few years back I mentioned this observation to Abraham and he articulated that I am so restful in their bedroom because it is a children’s room, children doesn’t worry, parents like me worry a lot, so parent's room are full of worries, that is why it’s hard for me to get sleep in my own bedroom. Makes sense…

Last night I came home late from work. On the way to our bedroom I had a glimpse of the children’s bedroom and was delighted to see the room tidy. The books, notebooks, and other things which mess up the small working table were neatly filed. The DVDs, vhs tapes, video games, electronic hardware and other paraphernalia were stocked in their proper places. I commended the two for this cool sight. I think I’m going to hang out there the more.

fogged

I believe in balance, life is a juggle and maintaining balance is a challenge. To have balance in every aspect of your life is pure success. Family, career, friends, social, spiritual - dividing my energy, time, and effort, making sure not one lacks my attention. This is where I work very hard at. This is how my life evolves. I am plus and minus to get the equal.

I am not famous as Harrison Ford, nor a genius like John Jacob Astor IV, certainly not a founder like Father Flanagan, I am nothing compared to these successful July 13 people, but I believe that fate has a way of rewarding me for maintaining balance in my life, regardless of temporary setbacks, trials and obstacles.

Am I still the same person I am two years ago when I quoted the statements above?

Why is the frustration of things not happening the way I wanted them to be dragging me down? Why are my laughs so limited and territorial? Where is the strong-willed woman I used to call “me” a few years back? Why can’t I even write a meaty entry?

Ah...birthday blues…I’m still the old me…just fogged.

We heart this boy!

Monday afternoon, the three of us, Abraham, Lemuel, and I went to Ralph’s with the purpose of buying Lemuel an anagram balloon. The cart was almost filled with everyday essentials when Lemuel said, "Mommy I thought it's about me!" And so we went to the balloon counter. Abraham eyed the biggest "Congrats Grad!" floater and wanted it for his younger brother. After a couple of minutes checking and rechecking, Lemuel said, "I don't need a balloon anyways, just get me Ice Cream!"

We went home with cookies and cream.

Tuesday, Brack and I missed work to attend Lemuel's school affair. He culminated from Elementary with an Academic Excellence Award. After the ceremonies and an important errand, we bought him a McNuggets meal from McDonalds and went home. He is happy.

Lemuel and friends
(Christopher, MM, Bryan, Salvador - he likes peanut butter)

Learning HTML (untold story of a half-hearted programmer)

On the record, Brack and I are now married for 14 years. I should have written an anniversary blog but fatigue had me wanting to sleep than writing about our romantic memoirs. Besides, I thought to myself, too much confessions of love on the web is boring my readers. So this time, let’s forget about me once being a June bride and focus our discussion on my failed aspirations. I dreamed to be a lawyer, a teacher, and a programmer. I pre-qualified at Concord Law School but do not have the $7,500 per semester tuition fee. I wanted to educate children but I got scared…and I wouldn’t like to elaborate further why.

In 2001, when Brack left for the US, with me and the kids left behind, I got so hooked up with the internet even with the dial up modem frustratingly slow (I can still hear the sound of my modem when it connects to my service provider). I was fascinated with the web sites, and even then would want to have one, my own. During that time push button publishing or blogger was not in the blogosphere yet, or they were I just don’t know (but yeah, thanks to blogger, my dream is now a reality).

My employer that time was generous to provide me with a cell phone plan with so many minutes like T-Mobile’s family plan now. But yet, on top of exhausting the minutes of my official talk time, I would still spend around 15% of my bi-monthly salary for phone bills. I call Brack in the morning, at lunch, at night, any day of the week, anytime of the day and night, Philippines or US time, I don’t care. Then one day, I woke up with the bill in my hand, and started thinking of the economics, that time I decided I need to divert my attention to a cheaper alternative which I would also enjoy doing. As I was driving along the CEPZ main road one day, I saw the STI Ad on Web Design, perfect!

I encouraged one of my younger staff and friend Tetchie to join me, initially she doesn’t want to but she eventually did. In class, our instructor would address me as Ma’m, because I’m obviously older than him. I complain a lot and immediately requests for assistance when after typing a ton of codes and tags my browser wouldn’t display what needs to be displayed. Needless to say, Tetchie, who doesn’t have interest in the course learned faster and was able to view her firsts web sites in no time, while I sit there so frustrated and asked our instructor to correct my codes and tags in order that I can move on. Towards the end of the course, we used Front page editor, insultingly I asked why we even bothered to do manual codes in the first place, and the instructor was so irritated with me.

Haphazardly, I learned a programing language, moved to the US in 2002, and after a year of working with my current employer, was sent to a week of intensive training and became an edgariser, among my many functions.

Summing up my story, learning HTML was a passing, my way of curing my lovesickness, of Brack then miles away.

Hmmm. Why does it sound like an anniversary entry after all?