Sunday, April 06, 2008

the heart won't write

Many times I opened my site hoping to post an entry but closed again disappointed. I took the yellow paper and the pencil and tried writing the old traditional way but words are still hard to find. There are so many challenging, fast-paced, and surprising events happening all around me but I’m still lost for words.

I wanted to write Oprah, serious! Maybe her show could help a friend who is in dire need of financial help, but I can’t find a way to transform my friend's very emotional situation and express my friend's thoughts the way she conveyed them to me into a letter that will merit the help I so wanted for her.

I wanted to write about the depressing moments of loosing a job, its devastating effects on families and relationships. I wanted to write about the thrills of finding a new job, the ego-boosting complements from job interviews, the joy of receiving job offers, the tricks of evaluating options and choosing which one suits best.

I wanted to write about the nice homilies at church this Easter season. I wanted to write about my favorite reality shows which are now at its height. I wanted to write about my new gadgets and recent interests. I wanted to write about letting go of something and wanting it back. I wanted to write about how Abraham and Lemuel are growing up to be totally different but very much alike.

I wanted to write... if only I can do so with my brain. But I write with my heart and as of yet, my heart is tired of too much excitements, of too much emotions, of too much sensitivity, that I struggle for words.