beyond human attachments (for Spice)

I was multi tasking in the kitchen yesterday between cooking and cleaning the mini beta fish aquarium. In the past, I struggle to transfer the fish from its container to the other bowl, it would swim fast away from the net and oftentimes would jump in strong resistance. But since a few weeks from yesterday, the fish had been calm and cooperative. My guesstimate is age – the fish has been with us for more than two years now. I wonder how long it is in fish life. I wonder too, how old it is when we bought it from Petco, maybe not that old. This fish survived more than a dozen of goldfishes, another beta, and two turtles. But this fish is not the longest we had, Crabbie was, an active hermit crab, which stayed with us for more than three years and died the middle of last year.

Although not initially my pets, I ended up being the caretaker of these tiny marine animals when the kids lost their enthusiasm a long-long time ago. Though I sometimes make them guilty of neglecting their container-based pets, both Abraham and Lemuel are still dreaming of having a dog. Now this is where I become emo. I told them they can have a dog when they are old and have their own family but never will I get a dog for them again.

I would never want to own another dog. Why? Because I had a great one and I feel no dog can ever replace my charming Spice. At first I thought she was babyish and a picky eater but when Brack left for the US, I started to notice how a responsible family member she was. Spice became unusually sensitive and would bark even at nothing to protect us. There was this incident during my grandfather’s wake that we went back home at dawn and were so surprised to find Spice sitting by the gate waiting for us. She must have walked out as I am closing the gate and unknowingly locked her out. Yet she stayed and guarded her territory responsibly. Imagine my guilt leaving her outside.

Spice got the most expressive eyes and looks at me without criticisms. My heart aches every time I would recall the dawn we left the Philippines for the US; it was my last sight of Spice. I didn’t think she would pass away soon enough for our next reunion. What I’m imagining before is, if she can still recognize Lemuel whom she loved to lick on the cheeks when we return. Apparently, no get together of that sort is happening anymore.

I fed and cared for our tiny water-based pets, I never even bathed Spice before; it was always Brack and my nephews, Aaron and Mikko who bathed her. I may not have a picture of Spice but her image is crystal clear stacked in my heart and mind and my attachment to this canine is heaven bound.

The day of hearts

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow and I'm too sick to write an entry. This link leads to an archived historical entry :-)

LOVE AND BE LOVED - my dear readers!

sick and amazed

Your spirit is willing but your body is weak...it is very hard to have fun when you are sick. You wanted to eat but the food isn't just as appetizing. You wanted to read but your head is heavy. You end up infront of the tube watching the morning news for a few hours until you fall asleep and wake up to watch some more.

But today I had fun being sick because I had the time to explore this. Awesome! Go grab one, you'll never know when flu catches you!

My new creativity software!

...of beliefs and practices

On the way to drop-off Abraham to his school yesterday morning, we heard the DJ of our favorite radio station greeting his callers with “Happy Ash Wednesday!” I may not be a devout Catholic but I reacted with, “Hello, it’s not a happy occasion you know?”

My comment lead to a short and meaty conversation between me and Abraham with his little brother seated at the backseat quietly absorbing our discussion. He started asking about Ash Wednesday and what it meant to us. With simplest knowledge I explained, this is a practice to remind people to repent, and that we came from ashes and unto ashes we will return. Further I said, Ash Wednesday is not a day of obligation; however it starts the holiest season in a Catholic’s life. Thus Abraham commented, he has friends who doesn’t believe in the creation and only believed in science. Friends who do not have any religion at all. Having heard that and for fear that he might be influenced later, my motherly guts tried to find an excuse not obvious enough, to discourage Abraham in associating with these group of friends. But Abraham whom I guess is smarter than I am, already knows what runs in my mind, said, “That’s why I know they are real friends Mommy. Even though they do not belong to any religion, they respect my religion.” I held-off my tongue and in my mind I thought, the younglings know about respect and acceptance of other beliefs, then who am I to discriminate.

I remembered, I, myself, have a close friend who doesn’t have a religion too. When she was born, she said, her mother registered her name through the hospital and straight home they went. No baptism followed, no confirmation or anything when she reached teenhood. She never attended any church but grew up to be a fine and respectable person, perhaps better than many who have religion but don't practice the deeds of their belief. I recalled when we watched the movie The Passion of the Christ; she paid serious attention to the film. It was nice of her to be open-minded.

In the afternoon, we rushed to take our dinner and went to church to have our forehead marked with ashes and to pray for my mother-in-law who passed away this day last year. We had this mass offered for her and the timing coincided with the marking of ashes. Before we stood in line, Abraham asked, “Mommy what will I say after the priest put the ash?” I said, “Amen.” And he asked again, "What do the priest say when they put ashes?" I told him to listen to what the priest is saying.

In the car, on our way back home, he repeated what the priest said when he had his forehead signed with a cross…”Turn away from sin and believe in the gospel.” I remembered the DJ on the radio…I wish he will be blessed with knowledge and hope that by next year he won’t greet his callers Happy Ash Wednesday again.