Saturday, February 24, 2007

she lives on...

Not every married woman in the world were blessed with good in-laws or has good relations with their in-laws. Why do you think jokes about in-laws hating each other were all over the place anyways? This is because society had adapted the norm that in-laws don’t get along well with one another and although I heard from people that this is a common situation, my experience is otherwise. I have good relations with mine especially with my mother in-law.

Mommy and I developed this closeness and openness the night we first talked to each other on the phone thirteen years ago. Brack then was living at their house in BF Homes by himself for five years. It was an awkward scenario at first when I picked up the phone and heard her so surprised that a woman was on the other line when she was expecting no one but Brack to pick up the call. Shocked or upset, she cried and hurriedly hunged up, only to call again and requested to speak with me after talking to Brack for a while. She tried to hide it but I felt the disappointment in her voice that Brack may not be able to follow them to the US because of me. But that instance I also sensed her quick acceptance (maybe because she was left with no other choice...just kidding Mommy!), she told me things that made me feel I’m part of the family already. It was the start of many overseas conversations until we moved to California in 2002.

I/we, spent time with Daddy and Mommy only three times since we came to the US. Aside from they lived in Jersey City, work schedules and budget didn’t give us liberty to visit them often, however, the wires were very much open for us and kept us connected. Mommy loved TFC and since we don’t have that subscription, she is more updated with filipino showbiz than I am. This is a regular topic of us, on top of family happenings. We usually talk on weekends but once in a while she would call on weekdays when she said she dreamt of Brack or when she needs to ask me something, usually about the Philippines or some documents. She often reminded us to love each other, to be humble, and to be thankful for the blessings we experience in life.

Last summer we visited them at their new house in Florida, and since it is also our first time in the sunny state, we had a full-schedule going to the attractions in the area. Mommy made sure we won't miss our schedules, she would knock on our door each morning to wake us up with breakfast ready. She tried to please us despite her failing health and poor vision, with Daddy’s help, she cooked good meals.

Mommy’s been sick for a while. She’s been in and out of the hospital the last three months due to complications. Three Sundays ago she asked Daddy to call us but we weren’t able to pick up because we got up late, she wanted to talk to us. We returned the call but Mommy was asleep. Then Monday was a busy working day…I/Brack didn’t call her. Tuesday at dawn, we were shocked to hear Mommy passed away. I regret not being able to speak to her one last time. I wonder what’s she’s going to tell me. I owe Mommy a lot…she was a good parent…I owe her Brack, she raised him well. She made my married life special. I love her more for this. Now I have these moments that I wanted to call her and hear her voice, her laughs, her showbiz updates, but she's gone far away. I just miss her so bad.



MOMMY

Today is the day we celebrate you
For all the love, care, and prayers
The special way you touched our hearts
No woman could have done more

Though you're not here to hear us say
We're truly blessed that we had you
And though it's hard to let you go...
We wish you joy in your new home.

(Zarah 02/08/07)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Her breath I breathe...

She had me when she was 18; I can’t imagine what pain I caused her even before I breathe my first air outside her womb, delivered normally in a breach position…whew! I wouldn’t elaborate on the pains I caused her after my birth; I guess I also gave her happiness all those years. After all, Mama thinks I am loving and compassionate despite being authoritative and sometimes a nagger.

Today, Mama turned 60 and I sang “Happy Birthday” to her on the phone. I can’t well enough summarize how she meant to me so I just borrowed this quote from Washington Irving…this is exactly how she is to me...I love you Mama, for all that you are.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.